2008, Glitter and a Confidant

I went  back and forth, back and forth in my head about posting this or not posting at all.

Do you know how sometimes you meet people for short spurts of time in your life but those few months/years have a deep impact for the rest of your life? I feel that happens frequently to me.

2008 was a year I’ll always remember. I had just graduated college and was very confused as to what came next. I didn’t have a dream job or company in mind, no idea what I wanted to be or do or live or anything. I knew I probably wanted to move out of Vermont and then I met my now husband Dave.

And we lived happily ever after! Except not at all. The six months after we met were filled with anxiety, frustration, misunderstandings and many, many tears. “If he likes me then why so and so and this and that”? Why won’t he commit? etc, etc.

Around this time I landed a second job besides my office job to help make ends meet. The job was at a retail store and I got it through an acquaintance  I frequently saw and spoke to at a local coffee shop I used to frequent as a college student. I still remember sitting outside sipping a beer when she stopped by and asked “Were you still looking for a job”? I may have one for you at Store X where I work.
I enthusiastically accepted her offer, interviewed and was hired part-time in late Summer ’08.

I wish I could describe her but words don’t make her justice. A radiant woman, a lovely smile, soft spoken and always, always, always sporting incredible amounts of glitter on her,beautiful, bright skirts and tops, beautiful hats. I LOVE glitter and as such I thought she was the most beautiful person I’ve seen. A human who embraced glitter just as much as I wish I could.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d put my glitter on for shows, festivals or a fun night out and I used to way overused it as a teenager on my hair and skin, but for her it was a daily ritual. It was the norm.

It turns out she also had her bad boyfriend story going on at the same time as mine. Except Dave wasn’t my boyfriend, and hers was and they lived together, except it wasn’t peachy. So a pattern quickly developed. Anguish over the boy, run late for work in the morning, manage to sneak a coffee and breakfast sandwich and meet said woman at work. Once there, we had a daily exchange of the latest and greatest disappointments in our “relationships”. I was so grateful to have her to speak to because she got it. Our men had somewhat similar problems, they were very different people but at the most basic of levels we were two lovesick women. As I repeated every scenario that happened with my guy in my head, she advised me-typically positive words about him. I was upset at myself, she told me not be so hard on myself. It reinforced some faith in me, I too could have a happy ending to my story.

We chatted music, we both loved Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. We both love sparkly things.
When Fall arrived and she bought a white glittery knit hat from a vendor on Church St, I got the same one in black.

Those Fall months in 2008 were life changing for me. They were the beginning of a true relationship with my now husband but they were also life forming months for me as a person. So much happened, so much changed me.

Eventually she decided the 9-5 life was too overbearing, she was an artist, she had to find her creativity and freedom outside the walls of a retail store. When she gave her notice, she offered me her position which I gladly accepted as my student loans came knocking at the door. Her role paid more, demanded more. It was almost like we swapped points in our lives. She was stepping down from responsibility, I was taking on more of it which I was not keen about only a few months before.

She broke up with her boyfriend, Dave and I became official. There were no more confiding conversations to be had. The life changing months were now over. More would come but that particular point in time was now over for good.

She invited me to a couple of parties which I attended but I stopped visiting our local coffee shop and we lost touch. On occasion a few years after, we may have seen each other and simply smirked and nodded at the other’s presence. Each time reminding me I should dig up that glitter and wear it more frequently.

Last week I found out this beautiful woman had passed on. It left me speechless. While it had been years since our last conversation, I still remember our 2008 conversations vividly, I remember every detail of those months.

I don’t have any lessons out of this post, I mean I do sure but the most sincere thing I can say is that it absolutely saddened me to hear the news, it seems unreal people as divine as her can leave this world. It just doesn’t seem real.  I’ll always remember 2008 and my conversations with her and overbearing amounts of one of the best fashion statements: glitter.

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